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Today here in the springs a gunman walked into a church and killed at least one person and wounded four others and last night another gunman walked into a denver YWAM and also killed two others and seriously wounded a student.

On days like these I ask where is God?

I was in my car traveling and a radio announcer was talking about the shootings and he said when things like this happen we can be sure that God will be glorified and our faith will not be shaken. Which is true. But not what people need to hear when such a tragedy like this has happened. This dj wants us to glorify and praise God when such horror happens, but the God I know also doesn't mind real emotions.

He wants us to have a real, true and honest relationship with us. He wants us to show Him our real emotions even if that is doubt, sadness, turmoil, depression, and confusion.

I learned that my relationship with God is like this and we are real when I was pushed to my limits and almost broken to obiteration. I was real with God and was angry at the injustice of this world and how good people hurt and there are no explanations for some things.

My souls seem to be in a state as St. John of the Cross describes darkness of the soul. This is where I question God's almightiness sometimes. I know He cares and loves me and ultimately wants the best for me, but that also takes trust on my behalf. Sometimes trust is so hard because I have place my life in the hands of someone I cannot see. I have to have faith that He will be and say what He says He will do. I question that cause I am human and I do not see the fruits of that in my life.

I feel like I am holding my breath, waiting for something big around the corner to happen. Any one else have thoughts like these?

So today I do not tell the victims of this violence that God is served through this, and He is glorified. I would tell them that the God I know is there in the midst of the trauma, doubt and questions.